By Richard Maduku,
I would have died by now if not for Quest FM Radio (93.1 MHz), Otor Ogor – a town that is gradually merging with Ughelli City here in Delta State. This was when my smart phone was damaged beyond the expertise of local technicians.
The third technician who also could not fix it in Ughelli advised that it should be taken to the manufacturers’ repair shop in Warri. So I did. I
It is the ensuing boredom the two months (February and March) that I was without it that would have finished me! Since I am home-bound due to an ailment the doctor, after studying my MRI scan, described as “degenerative disease of the spine”, it is the smart phone that keeps me occupied most of the time. The TV that would have complemented it, I have stopped watching.
This was not only because of the hiked subscription fee but also due to lack of electricity from the national grid. In my area, we get only about five hours of it in a week. I have stopped buying petrol for the generator in order to watch television even before subsidy was removed from it unpresidentially by President Bola Tinubu during his inaugural balablu on May 29, 2023.
I read the newspapers and listened to my favourite foreign radio station from my smart phone. In fact, I get more than I wanted from the Internet on my smart phone.
Since I can no longer sit and write on a table, I am also learning to write more than just short texts on my smart phone. This piece is an attempt at it.
With the phone gone and children now on their own as adults, I became like a fish out of water. My despondency was however mitigated by Quest Radio which I listened to on my second generation (or so) mobile phone that could now be classified as analogue if compared with an android phone or an iPhone.
The news which is my favourite item on the radio was scanty (thrice a day) on Quest Radio. This was unlike the foreign radio station mentioned earlier in this write-up where it was cheap – every half hour. But the little Quest Radio offered kept me from totally being in the dark of what was happening especially locally. I am grateful for this.
I love music and I was also glad that Quest Radio is not doing badly in this area. In fact, it was their music slots that l looked forward to most during the two months of my ordeal without my smart phone. I was particularly pleased to note that they have not restricted their choice of music to only those by Nigerian musicians as some FM radio stations had done in the country.
Many septuagenarians and above who grew up listening mostly to western music before Nigerian music came of age about two decades ago will be happy about this retention.
I was also happy to note that most of their programmes were broadcast in pidgin English. More listeners are going to know what is happening around them with this innovation. There are other areas where the management of Quest Radio deserves a pat on the back but this is not to say they are perfect. In fact, it is some of their shortcomings that necissated this cryout.
The first night after my smart phone got damaged was when I discovered the first practice that really shocked me beyond belief. I was cosying up in bed hoping to sleep off while listening to the radio. Only Quest Radio was on air. By 10 pm when I was expecting the best the station has to offer, the broadcast stopped abruptly without fore warning. I thought it was a break in transmission so I waited patiently for some minutes but to no avail. I later learnt that 10 pm was their closing time.
“Quest means business” was one of the station’s slogans that was repeated ad nauseum. Before I knew it, I was hissing and murmuring, “Quest doesn’t mean business!”
To me, their closing time was against the norm. When the first FM radio stations debuted in Nigeria in the late 1970s and early 1980s, it was around 9 pm that their day used to break just like the club girls. All they did before 9 pm was like a warm-up.
These FM radio stations started the round-the-clock (24/7) revolution in broadcasting in Nigeria. They brought out their best DJs who played dance music almost non-stop till the next morning. I was in Port Harcourt at that time and I still remember some indoor night party organisers who relied on the FM radio music instead of on turntables. It was unthinkable to me that an FM radio station would close by 10 pm.
The domination of broadcasts by Yoruba herbalists was what annoyed me most in all the shortcomings I found in Quest Radio broadcasts. On the average, ten minutes hardly pass without an advert from these herbalists. As if that was not bad enough, most times, about five minutes to a new hour, an advert by one of them would be slotted in. Instead of announcing the new hour on its first minute, the advert would run through it and continue for about another three more minutes.
The first minute of every hour is the most important moment to many listeners. Radio station owners know this. That is why it is usually heralded by special music or sound. The talking drum signal of Western Nigerian Broadcasting Service, (WNBS) Ibadan, is perhaps the most popular in this part of Nigeria.
In the early 1960s, it used to be played for over three minutes before announcing the hour early in the morning at the start of the day’s broadcast. The bolero music BBC uses to herald a new hour is a familiar sound globally.
No matter how huge the amount herbalists were ready to pay, reputable radio stations will not accept adverts from them. By not only accepting adverts from the Yoruba herbalists but also using these adverts on top of the hour, Quest Radio is violating an old tradition (heralding of a new hour) that started with the hour glass up to the pendulum clocks that radio stations probably copied it from.
Majority of herbalists, aka witch or native doctors or shamans are dubious characters the world over. Our backwardness in Africa especially here in Nigeria is partly due to our belief in them.
Instead of hard work, many still believe they can become rich overnight if they perform certain rituals prescribed by a herbalist. Some students also believe a herbalist could make them pass their exams without studying. Many Nigerians will think you are insane if you tell them that no charm from a herbalist can make one to be bullet proof. The list of stupid things herbalists make many Nigerians do cannot be exhausted in a write up like this.
The Yoruba variants who have invaded Ughelli and made it their colony may be an exception but it is a truism that herbalists are behind every ritual killing. In neighbouring Anambra state for instance, the governor is routing them out of his state because of it.
The way Quest Radio has been advertising them may lure many to believe that all herbalists are good and as a result become prey to the diabolical ones elsewhere. If our esteemed Quest Radio is not beholden to these Yoruba herbalists, it should stop advertising them even if they are certified to be angels!
Meanwhile, the thought that Quest Radio probably belong to these Yoruba herbalists has refused to leave my mind!
Richard Maduku, a retired Nigerian Army (Infantry) Captain and novelist, lives in Effurun-Otor, Delta State
