By Cellus Godley
The Bible offers extensive guidance on manipulation. It provides examples, principles, and explicit instructions, cautioning us against manipulating others and being susceptible to manipulation ourselves.
What Is Manipulation?
Manipulation involves exerting harmful influence over others. Manipulators attack the mental and emotional states of their targets to achieve their own goals. The manipulator aims to create a power imbalance and exploit a victim to gain power, control, benefits, and privileges at the victim’s expense.
Manipulation can occur in both close and casual relationships, though it is more prevalent in intimate bonds. To some extent, anyone can manipulate others to fulfill their desires. However, manipulation is specifically defined as any effort to influence someone’s emotions to make them act or feel a certain way.
Manipulators often employ certain tactics to make their targets feel irrational and thus more likely to acquiesce to their demands. Some common tactics include:
1. Guilt
2. Complaining
3. Comparing
4. Lying
5. Denying
6. Feigning ignorance or innocence
7. Blame
8. Mind games
Manipulation is essentially a form of lying. When someone deliberately speaks untruths to deceive, they are engaging in manipulation, as deception itself is a manipulation of one’s thoughts or actions. Thus, all biblical injunctions against lying are also applicable to manipulation, as lying is considered a grave sin.
Satan is referred to as the “father of lies” (John 8:44), and could also be deemed the “master of manipulation.” He deceived Eve by using half-truths and exploiting her quest for wisdom, leading her to defy God.
Even now, Satan lures individuals into his snares. He “disguises himself as an angel of light” (2 Corinthians 11:14), preying on vulnerabilities, flattering egos, and convincing people that sinning serves their best interest. His cunning is subtle; he employs numerous strategies to dominate and influence.
Signs of Manipulation
Manipulation can happen in many forms. In fact, sometimes kindness can be a form of manipulation depending on the intent.
Then the question is raised, is any form of influence considered manipulation?
Whether manipulation has good or bad intentions, it is still an attempt to undermine your rational thinking.
People who manipulate others have common traits that you can look for. They include:
(1) They know your weaknesses and how to exploit them
(2) They use your insecurities against you
(3) They convince you to give up something important to you, to make you more dependent on them
(4) If they are successful in their manipulation, they will continue to do so until you are able to get out of the situation.
The Bible cautions against those who would deceive us in matters of faith. The New Testament frequently warns Christians to be vigilant against false teachers.
We should not be easily misled (Galatians 3:1; 2 Peter 2). Paul condemned manipulators “who insinuate themselves into households and captivate vulnerable women burdened with sins, led astray by various passions” (2 Timothy 3:6). Jesus cautioned, “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves” (Matthew 7:15).
It is understood that Christians should neither manipulate nor exploit others. “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body” (Ephesians 4:25).
Equally, we must not be susceptible to manipulation. Jesus advised, “Be as wise as serpents and as harmless as doves” (Matthew 10:16), meaning we should not be exploited nor exploit others.
A virtuous character allows God to direct our paths in life. To achieve this, we must let Him remove any flaws in our character, including the inclination to manipulate others for personal gain. Unlike the world, which thrives on manipulation, allowing God to lead and teach us the truth frees us from such practices.
1. Manipulation stems from self-centered behavior and is considered a character flaw. Employing anger, guilt, or shame to coerce someone into doing what they want is manipulative and will likely backfire eventually.
2. We live amidst manipulators, yet as believers, we are called to be in the world but not of it. We require divine assistance to resist the temptations of manipulation that the world presents. The Holy Spirit is ever-present to impart discernment and aid us in recognizing the truth.
3. The world can be spiritually perilous, necessitating our strength to resist manipulation and exploitation. It is crucial to attain a state where the desire for others’ approval prevents us from being manipulated.
4. God cautions against altering His Word; those who do so often become victims of their own machinations. Severe repercussions await anyone who misrepresents the Bible by twisting or distorting its messages.
Certain individuals possess a natural inclination towards manipulation; they are strong-willed and their character inspires trust. It is crucial to exercise caution around such individuals, particularly within our own families. Trust is a vital component in all relationships. We must always communicate truthfully with compassion and expect the same from others.
Scripture References:
• Galatians 5:19-20
• 1 Samuel 15:23-30
• 2 Corinthians 11:14
• Galatians 1:8-9
• Matthew 7:15
• Romans 16:18
• 2 Peter 2:1
• Luke 16:15
• Ephesians 6:16-17
• 2 Timothy 3:16
• Hebrews 5:14
• John 16:13
• Galatians 1:10
• Revelation 22:18-19
• Galatians 6:7
• Matthew 10:16
